Our Little Miracle

The story starts that we adopted this little girl from Ukraine, and decided that we needed to plan that her disability would never change. We decided this because after adopting our oldest daughter, Swimmer Girl, we dealt with the grief of realizing that her disability would never change. It was extremely painful, and neither of us wanted to face that kind of disappointment again.

Realize, of course, that once we got past that grief, Swimmer Girl has been a great joy. How can you be nothing but proud of a child who so gracefully and faithfully rises above such severe physical disabilities? I often think of her like a modern-day Elijah, when he, by the power of the Holy Spirit, ran faster than King Ahab's chariot. How does she do it? How does she swim like she does? How does she walk? How does she play the piano so beautifully?  How does handle papers and books and opening packages?  How does she manage to carry so many things?

Still, that grief of dealing with the finality of her situation was something I just didn't want to face again. So, we went into Nappy's adoption with the mindset that she was not going to change. Once we got her home, three different doctors agreed with us. We were okay with that because we had seen how God's Glory was revealed through Swimmer Girl's life, and it was really really good.

So, we became comfortable with life as it was presenting itself. Then a doctor ordered a 350lb powerchair that we just simply couldn't accommodate in our lives, and began to push us to put her into therapeutic preschool 5 days a week. None of it made any sense to us. People were jumping the gun, telling us that she couldn't do things that she had never even tried to do. Why would we take on the financial burden (which was huge) of this chair, and rearrange her life and our family life around her disability when no one had even bothered to see what she could do?

So, we bought a manual chair off of eBay for $100. It was the wrong size, way too big, and yet, she was wheeling around in it on her own from the first evening we had it.  I guess she had no clue that she couldn't operate a manual chair. 

It was then we began to realize that maybe there was more than one way for God to reveal His Glory in the life of a person with a disability. So, we ditched the therapists that were offering adaptive devices, therapeutic preschool and other stuff and started pushing for therapies and interventions that would actually make a physical difference in her life. We found a doctor that would accommodate us.

Several months ago, that doctor ordered Nappy's first round of serial casting to stretch her legs straight. We had botox injections done in her right thigh to weaken the constricting muscles and then 3 weeks later started the therapy. Our doctor warned us that Nappy needed to gain over 60-degrees of flexibility in each leg to walk, and that that was really out of the question. The most gained in one round of serial casting recorded was 30-degrees. About 15-degrees was much more typical. She doubted, because of the tightness, that we could gain even that.


We began the process of serial casting. Every 1-2 weeks her leg was stretched a bit more and a new cast was placed on it to stretch the muscles and release the joints. Each week, the therapist would record the changes, and it was like watching a slow motion miracle. After 7 weeks, Nappy had gained almost 70 degrees of flexibility in that knee!

At the same time we were working on her leg, God sent us the perfect occupational therapist.  From the start, she said that she believed that Nappy needed to gain more flexibility in her shoulders, elbows and wrists in order to achieve the goals that we had for her-- goals of putting on her own shirt, buttoning and zipping jackets and drinking from cups without straws.  Those may seem small, but try to do all those things without bending your arms.  

So, we took measurements of her flexibility in those joints and then began the therapy.  I won't bore you with details, but will just say that in the course of this therapy, we've seen our second slow motion miracle.  Her rehab doctor claims that Nappy has gained more flexibility in her arms than she had hoped she could after a couple rounds of botox and serial casting!

In fact, her doctor said that there is only one word to describe the changes in Nappy's body.  One word she doesn't use lightly:  miracle.

We really are witnessing a miracle.

As of now, it really looks like our little girl is going to walk.   And, while we have medical science to thank for it's help, even the doctor knows that this is happening by the hand of God.

In the past month I've really tried to process what we're watching.  I have always believed in miracles, but have never actually witnessed one.  What has overwhelmed me in these past few months is this:  God loves me enough to allow me to witness this miracle.  Watching His healing hand change these joints is the most incredible thing I've ever seen in my entire life -- so much more valuable than any thing this world can offer.   I feel like a little kid who's parents have just given me a gift that I wanted so desperately but was afraid to ask for because it was so lavish and immense. 

Through out this process, as I've prayed with Nappy, we've talked about what God is doing.  Before she'd tell me, "I'll walk in heaven."  Now she'll tell me, "I'll walk in this room.  I'll walk on oaf (earth!)".  Then I'll tell her, "It sure does look like you will walk on earth, but even if you don't....

And, she'll finish it for me, "GOD IS GOOD!"  

Biden Needs To Get His Little Hiney Out of Dream World and Into Reality

Could somebody out there give me just 5 minutes with Joe Biden? Just 5 minutes! Perhaps he could actually walk away with some kind of idea as to what advocating for the disabled and respecting life actually means.

In reference to advocacy for people with disabilities, Biden made the following snipe:

"Well, guess what, folks? If you care about it, why don't you support stem cell research?" asked Biden, the running mate of Democratic presidential nominee Sen. Barack Obama.


First of all, stem cell research is not as advanced as the proponents of it would like people to believe. I'm really tired of hearing about how the "cures" for diabetes, spinal chord injuries and other illnesses are just steps away but can't be found because we, as a culture, don't have access to enough stem cells.

For years I listened to the American Diabetes Association herald this cry. Then I actually read the research and learned that, like many of the other illnesses, the "cure" was not around the corner, but decades away and possibly not even linked to stem cells.

Secondly, most conservatives are not against stem cell research -- most conservatives are against harvesting them from embryos. Get your stem cells ethically and then research away! Personally, I just don't believe that you take one person's life to solve the medical problems of another.

Thirdly, not all disabilities can be "cured" through research from stem cells. So, advocate away for your stem cells, Joe, but your advocacy doesn't do a bit of good for someone who has a disability due to amniotic banding or their birth mother drinking alcohol while pregnant, nor thousands of other reasons that people end up with disabilities. Not to mention, it's certainly not going impact the life of any person right now.

To reduce disability advocacy to stem cell research is simply a way to politicize a new topic (disability rights and services) that both he and Obama are clueless about. In the meantime, while meaning to slam McCain and Palin, he has totally offended me by seriously implying that I don't care about the disabled because I don't support unethical stem cell research.

Thanks Joe! Glad my life counts for a hill of beans in your book!

Well, guess what, folks, if you care about the disabled, then why don't you actually research what can be done to support them and their families?

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! They're Not Speaking For Me!

The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill has recently released a study regarding the financial situations of families raising disabled children. There is an article summarizing the study on the UNC website, as the study itself will be published in an upcoming edition of "Exceptional Child" magazine. As such, I haven't seen the actual study, but only read the summary of it on UNC's website.

Let me start this by saying that I really don't want to cause problems. I really don't. However, there are some blaring errors in this study, ideas that aren't taken into account and generalities made.

The biggest issue is: what is a disabled child?

To lump all disabled children, let alone all disabled people, into one broad category of "disabled children" is simply ignorant. Do they really think that a child who needs a prosthetic leg to walk has the same needs as a child who is unable to breath without constant assistance? Or a child who is missing an arm requires the same aid as a child learning to handle their diabetes? What about a child with mild cerebral palsy versus a child with extremely severe cerebral palsy? Does a blind child have the same needs as a child that is unable to walk? What about an anemic kid versus an autistic kid? Actually, compare two kids with autism -- do they have the exact same needs? Taking all children with disabilities and lumping them into one category is just plain ignorant, and definitely faulty science.

In addition to that, what is their control group? They claim to have surveyed 28,841 families -- were they all families with a "disabled" child? Were half of them families without a "disabled" child? I mean, YOU HOO, the economy is not doing well, my friends, could their counterparts be reporting the same issues?

According to the article on the UNC website, " The UNC study found that overall, families across all income levels who are raising disabled children are significantly more challenged by food, housing and health issues compared to families without disabled children. Many also struggled to pay their phone bills."

Now, why is that? There are two reasons that I think are possible.

First of all, how well are the families managing their money? Are they unable to pay their bills because of the stress of their disabled child, or are they unable to pay their bills because they (like so many in our culture) have been living beyond their means and the disability provides a great scapegoat for them? I'm thinking that basic phone service, without any of the frills or long distance, is still only about $30 a month -- there has to be some pretty significant reasons that a middle or upper income family struggles to pay that. My first guess would be that it isn't a $30 phone bill, but a $150 phone/cell phone/Internet/long distance bill. If that's the case, then this is an issue of priority, because your family needs food much more than they need Internet or cable.

Another reason, I believe, might be related to the disability but not the disability itself. Of course, I'm referring to the dear medical professionals that recommend incredibly expensive solutions. When we adopted Nappy, the first doctor we saw said she needed a 350lb power chair in order to "function". If we had gone that route, all the additional expenses of setting our house and car up for this power chair, would have cost us anywhere from $20,000- $100,000. Money we don't have. It was incredibly difficult to accept the fact that we couldn't provide for our daughter what the doctor was saying she "needed". In the end, though, it was the best thing for her, and her quality of life, right now, is much higher because we chose to forgo that solution. She may actually walk!!!!

I swear, our culture's answer to every problem involves spending lots of money!

Perhaps some of these parents have found themselves in this financial bind because they have followed the advice of some professionals, without looking at the bigger picture.

And, I'm sure, that there are some in this position because their child has a terrible difficult special need that requires serious medical care and intervention. My intent is not to claim otherwise, but to point out that there is much more to this picture than this study is portraying.

Take for example dental care.

The article stated, "Though the study found that children with disabilities were more likely to have health insurance and a usual source of care, they were 61 percent more likely than non-disabled children to have postponed necessary medical care and 83 percent more likely to have postponed needed dental care. The study didn’t examine the causes for those results, but Parish said they likely are related to the expenses of obtaining care – even with health insurance – and other issues, such as limited transportation."


What they don't look at, as they themselves admit, are the causes for this. Well, let me enlighten everyone on that.

When you have a child that has multiple special needs, then you have to prioritize those needs or you and the child will go insane. For instance, in the past year Swimmer Girl has had major hip surgery, 7 weeks in a body cast, 2 months to relearn to walk, various visits to the prosthetist for leg adjusts and a bout of strep and several other normal "kid diseases". Guess what? We didn't get to the dentist within the recommended 6 months. It just wasn't a priority. I would also like to get her to the allergist because she has displayed numerous signs of allergies I would like to identify. Guess what? It hasn't happened!

Why? Certainly finances are not an issue with this. Her medical bills are covered through our insurance. We have transportation. So, this issue is that there is only so much a person can do at one time, so the successful strategy is to prioritize.

The thing that bugs me about both this study and this article is that it continues to perpetuate the myth that dealing with a disability is this terrible horrible life shattering thing. It perpetuates the myth that the entire family suffers as a result of the disability and that disabilities create terrible financial hardships. In my 6 years of experience in dealing with our daughters' disabilities, I have to say that I have not experienced that. Yes, the disability is hard. Yes, there is grief involved. Yes, it does require more doctor visits and medical expenses (although there is a lot of both public and private help available between government programs, Shriners, and other organizations). However, no, it doesn't have to break the bank, and no it's not "bleak" or "chilling" as this article indicates.

I've found parenting my daughters, just like my sons, to be very rewarding.

Get Ready to Redefine Your Idea of an Athlete!

Swimmer Girl competed in her first swim meet!!!! It was held at the Rec Center on the Campus of Miami University in Oxford.











Saturday afternoon she swam in the 50 meter freestyle heat -- and timed in at 1:35.80.





Then on Sunday, she swam in the 50 meter backstroke heat with a time of 1:33.70!




We are so incredibly proud of Swimmer Girl, a little girl who was never even supposed to walk and has one less arm to propel herself through the water than all the other swimmers! Only God knew what a treasure was waiting for us in that little orphanage in Vinnitza, Ukraine...

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; be not frightened, neither be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

First Adam, Now Alex

First Adam Race is told he can't participate in Mass and now Alex Barton is voted out of Kindergarten! What does this say about inclusion in our culture?

Alex Barton, a 5 year old who had been attending Kindergarten at Morningside Elementary School in Port St. Lucie Florida, was voted out of his class in an overwhelming 14-2 election, this past week. It would've been 12-4, but the teacher bullied two of his friends into voting against him.

Apparently, Alex, who is in the process of being diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome (basically a high functioning form of Autism), has been a bit of a behavior problem in class. So, in an unprecedented act of classroom management, his teacher, Wendy Portillo, brought Alex up to the front of the classroom and proceeded to have each of the students tell him what they didn't like about him. Then she had them vote to determine if Alex could stay in the class.

Alex lost.

In my opinion, they all lost because no matter how difficult a child is, your child has to learn how to deal with him if you want your child to grow up into an adult that can handle the realities of living in a diverse culture. Apparently, Ms. Portillo never learned that lesson. I sure don't want my kids to grow up to be like her!

So, now Alex, who was so shaken up by the incident he was sent to the nurses office where his mother retrieved him, has been sitting around his house saying, "I'm not special". Apparently he was told he was "annoying" and "disgusting." I don't think the educational experts of Florida, really understand just how cruel and injurious being humiliated in front of your peers actually is.

When I was in 7th grade, my lovely school, Howland Junior High School (North Eastern Ohio), held a pep rally. The day before we were instructed to to wear orange and black, the school colors, or we would not be admitted to the rally. That night I laid out my clothes. I didn't own any orange clothes, so I laid out some that were blue and black. Blue and black were not good enough for our spirit-filled school. So, instead of denying me entrance to the rally, they had me and a handful of other kids walk in front of the entire junior high class body-- while the other 200-plus kids booed us. It was incredibly humiliating, and I have an inkling of understanding for what Alex is probably feeling.


Another incident it brought to mind was when I was doing my student teaching, many years ago, at Roberts Paideia Academy (a gem in the Cincinnati Public Schools). During recess one afternoon, I stood by and watched as the special education teachers laughed at a developmentally handicapped boy who was trying to figure out how to jump rope. His big brown eyes were just sparkling with excitement as he tried to figure out which way to move his arms over his head to move the rope. He looked at his teacher for encouragement.

"Come on, idiot" she said, "Just put your hands up and flip the rope over!"

Then she and the other teacher stood there and laughed at the "idiot" who was too much of a "dumb***" to figure out how to jump rope.

Yes, the very people who were supposed to be advocating him, encouraging him to try new things, and celebrating his successes were instead calling him names and making fun of him.

And, yet, people wonder why I won't send my kids to public school!


The school system should be all over this, but, of course, they won't be. In addition to the fact that if she's a NEA member, she's nearly impossible to fire (remember: there are no bad teachers -- not even one's that vote kids out of the class!), they won't be because the fact of the matter is that this teacher crossed this line because she hasn't had the training or support necessary to understand how to work with a student who has behavioral problems -- be it from a disability or for any other reason -- and they know it. It's the same thing as Adam Race's priest. Those working with these kids aren't equipped and no one in charge cares enough to equip them.

In the meantime, it would be beneficial for the Morningside School District to understand that some day cute little Alex will be a 13 year old boy who, hopefully, will have had the appropriate interventions necessary to have a healthy happy life. The current road they've sent him down is sure to produce the opposite, and somebody will be dealing with that.

That Child (Known to Christ as Adam Race)

In case you haven't yet heard, there is controversy swirling around the country regarding a Catholic priest in Minnesota that has filed a restraining order against a 13-year-old boy who is severely autistic. A full article can be found here, and I find this situation troubling to say the least.

The situation is still sketchy at best. For instance, the press has not detailed what kinds of accommodations that the church has offered to the family, and the family is claiming that there were no complaints until the day that the priest showed up at their house. Obviously, something is amiss here with information.

There are some facts that weigh in on the side of the church:

1) Adam Race has severe behavioral problems, far beyond what people normally experience in a crowd.
2) Adam Race is large and can be dangerous to the people around him
3) Some of Adam's problems can probably be remedied with certain accommodations, but, in general Adam will probably always have unpredictable behavior.

However, here are some facts that weigh in against the church:

1) Adam is a child of God
2) It is NOT Adam's fault that he is severely autistic
3) Even if some of Adam's behavior is poor parenting, it is, again, not his fault.
4) While church is a public place, whether protestant or catholic, it is more than that. For crying out loud, if a church can't be inclusive then what can be?

I've read blog posts where people are trying to compare this to taking him to the movie theaters, and all I can say to that is: it is not the same, and to even compare the two shows a real lack of understanding of what the purpose of church/worship is, let alone what Christianity is.

I've read blog posts and comments where people are claiming his parents haven't parented him. To that, I would respond: it doesn't matter. Shouldn't the church be seeking even more involvement if that's the case?

I've read blog posts and comments where people are claiming that the family should just go to mass separately. To that I would say that that does nothing to help the spiritual growth of the family, or the spiritual growth of his parent's marriage. There's already enough stress on the family, should they be split for church? Shouldn't their priest be concerned with the health of their family? I also don't think the entire family should be kept from mass. That's a sure way to lose the other 5 siblings from the faith!

I've read blog posts and comments where people are stating that the parents should simply control him better. To that, I would have to say that they probably don't understand his disability.

I'm not denying that his behavior is probably out of control and intervention is necessary. I'm also not doubting that he can function better at church. However, why is the church not willing to explicitly state the "accommodations" offered to the Race family unless those accommodations were not really realistic or useful? Why has the church not addressed the issue of how Adam got the car keys to get into a car and "rev" the engine? Has the church never had an elderly person wet their pants in a pew? What about a toddler or a preschooler? For that matter, has anyone ever vomited in the church? There are signs, many signs, that the church has not attempted to create an environment or situation Adam could be successful in.

Another thing that really bothers me with this situation is how the diocese refers to him as "that child" -- there's no grace, no mercy, no sadness over the fact that they can't meet their parishioner's need. He's not Adam Race, child of God, he's "that child" -- the bad one, the one that wets his pants in the pew, the one that behaves inappropriately. They are coming off as completely blind to the fact that he's the child that his parents are trying to teach to relate to God, something that must be an enormously difficult task considering that people with autism suffer socially and, often times, relationally.


It also strikes me as wrong (and unscriptural) to involve the police and the courts with this matter, especially when, from all appearances, the church has done little to work with the family. I happen to believe that getting involved would be the very thing that Jesus would do. If the church would present themselves, specifically, as having tried all avenues possible to help Adam connect with God and help nurture his family's spiritual growth and ability to worship together, if the church had done everything they could do to ensure a safe environment (that would mean the parishioners NOT leaving keys in the car), and Adam posed a safety threat, then it might merit involving the civil authorities. But as it stands, it really looks like this priest just wanted to wash his hands of an uncomfortable parishioner.

Yet, this is just a symptom of a greater problem. Something like only 5% of the disabled population attends church on a regular basis. Why is this? Christians misunderstanding of disabilities (God made you special!) and desire to see every person with a disability healed whether they want to or not, would probably play one of the biggest roles. Lack of respect for the abilities of the disabled also plays a part. However, discrimination like we're seeing here is certainly a key component of the problem. People will say that banning him from mass doesn't mean that you're not loving him, but all I can say to that is: bull-loney!!!!! Being excluded from something for reason's beyond your control is NOT love. If you think it is, I'd prefer you'd never love me or my family!

Here, after years of believing that everyone was valuable to God -- everyone: the prostitute, the demon-possessed, the poor, the cheater, the rapist, the pornographer, the drug dealer, the doctor, the pastor, the missionary, the engineer, the teacher, the nurse, etc. we're seeing a situation where one finds that you truly can be bad enough to get kicked out of church. For the sake of many parents out there, I hope that bored little boys who attend that parish don't find out about this -- they just might have found their ticket to a more interesting Sunday morning! Be really bad in Mass and then the priest will kick you out!

In many Christian's minds, not just this one priest, there is a hierarchy, and that makes not only the disabled feel unwelcome, but the parents of children who don't behave well unwelcome too.

I mean, how bad is "too bad"? Where is it appropriate to draw the line?

Despite the horrible behavior, despite his large size and despite the fact that he can be dangerous, Adam Race was still made in the image God. Adam Race's life has the ability to reflect God's glory, even though this corrupted creation has done everything it can to hide that. How incredibly sad that "that church" is not grieving over what they couldn't do, grieving over Adam's losses, and earnestly looking for a solution that serves him and his family rather than their convenience. And how embarrassing that they felt the need to involve civil authorities on a matter that they should've been able to solve on their own.

What is so incredibly sad about this, to me, is that the Catholic Church has always been such a beacon of light regarding the sanctity of life, both of the unborn and the disabled. Why would a priest seek to snuff that light out? I hope that the righteous in the Catholic Church will stand up to this priest, and I pray that those that love Jesus will out shine this one man who simply has a completely different agenda.

"Struggling" to Visit Northern Michigan

The kids and I spent a great few days in Michigan last week. Part of the time we went to Grand Rapids to visit family, and during that visit spent some time at the Frederick Meijer Gardens. This is a great family spot to visit and is completely wheelchair accessible --even all of "Tree House Village"!

Something funny happened on the way out of the Gardens, though, and it reminded me how so many people view our family. A very well meaning man walked up to us. He had his infant son with him and he approached me as I was placing Nappy's chair in the back of the van.

"Excuse me," he said, hesitantly, obviously nervous, "I just wanted... to take a minute and talk to you. God told me to."

I was a bit perplexed by his statement, because I communicate with God fairly frequently, and God hadn't mentioned word one about this guy to me. I pointed out to God that it would be nice if He would let me in on these things. It's like I'm always last to know. I smiled at the guy, thinking that he might be planning to ask me about adoption. At least I was hoping he was ,because I'm always prepared to give my "Millions of Children Need Families, Yes That Would be Great if You Adopt" Sermon.

"I wanted to ask you about your daughter.... I.... is there something I can pray for? What's her ailment?"

Ailment? I thought. Was she coughing and I didn't notice? Oh no, she was sick again and I just didn't pick up on it because she never acts sick! How embarrassing!

"Is she in pain?" He continued.

"Pain?" I asked. "No, she's not in pain."

Then I realized that this was about the wheelchair, so I responded, hoping to stop the questions. I toyed with claiming she had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and that I'm still despondent over my poor choices during pregnancy, but thought better about that.

"She just has arthrogryposis and can't walk."

"Is she terminal?"

Aren't we all? I thought, but decided not to say so I wouldn't burst his bubble. Maybe that hadn't occurred to him yet.

"Uhhh... no more than anyone else."

"Well, I just really feel like God wanted me to talk to you and let you know that she can have his blessings and healing and that she is very valuable to him. And I would really like to pray for her."

So, figuring that we can always use more prayer, I told him he was welcome to offer to pray for her and asked Nappy if he could. She looked at him, stuck her lip out and said, "NO!" (I don't think that this guy really knew what parts of her need prayer.)

So, he talked to her instead, and said, "Well, I just want you to know that God loves you. I saw you struggling this morning and I know that sometimes life can seem really hard...."

Struggling? Life can seem hard? What in the world was this guy talking about? She wasn't struggling (okay maybe a bit because we kept dumping our coats and stuff on the back of her wheelchair and making it really heavy for her to wheel, but we also pushed her alot too!).

It struck me as so odd. How could this man possibly see struggling when all I see is victory? Here is a little girl who only a year ago spent most of her day sitting and watching other kids play, unable to get herself around much, and who had absolutely no future. Now she's wheeling everywhere, trying to walk, climbing all over the place and enjoying her ability to explore the world! Here she is talking up a storm, learning her letters and counting, making jokes, and constantly pretending to be a princess or a puppy or even a duck! How could anyone look at such an animated face and think she was "struggling?"

The next day I told my friend, who has happened to live her entire life without legs, that maybe God did tell that guy to come up to us. Maybe I dropped the ball because I was supposed to explain to him that life with a disability isn't a struggle, but it's actually a celebration of one victory after another as you see God redeeming things you never thought could be redeemed and you get pictures of beauty that most of humanity will never glimpse.

She assured me that there was probably nothing I could've said that would have gotten through to that guy. As she pointed out, the burden was his, not God's. So, I guess a gracious quiet was the best response.

"Sometimes rather than healing you, God chooses to inhabit you," She said. Beautiful truth from a truly beautiful person in whom the spirit of God obviously dwells.

You have to really desire to understand the heart of God to understand which is so much much better.

Deb Takes on Buddy LaRosa

With the great sauce, yummy mixture of cheese and unbelievable toppings, why would I want to take on an establishment as hallowed and revered, an establishment that is as much Cincinnati as Skyline Chili, you ask?

On Monday evening, our family went out to dinner to celebrate our Princess's fourth adoption anniversary. We always go out for pizza to celebrate this child's anniversary in honor of all the pizza Rob and I ate while staying for a month in Almaty, Kazakhstan. We ate, often to say the least, at the highly western Patio Pizza, which also has a franchise in both Moscow and Kyiv. Our favorite pizza was "Pizza Melanoma" , which didn't give you cancer, but was supposed to remind us of food served in Milan. So there the tradition started.

This year we settled on a family outing to LaRosa's. Our kids were very excited because the only time they ever see the inside of a restaurant is when we're traveling or celebrating someone's adoption day. Each kid picked their own individual pizza, and Green Bottle Boy was happy with his spicy sausage, banana pepper, pepperoni, jalepeno pizza. His brother was hoping to find a new roommate before the pizza hit Green Bottle Boy's digestive system. Other than that, though, we had a great time.

Towards the end Nappy proudly announced, "MOM, I need to go potty." I was thrilled that she was telling me before she went, and we happily wheeled to the bathroom, only to find that it was not handicapped accessible.

Now, it wasn't a problem for us, because I could just pick her up and set her on the toilet, leaving her wheelchair out of the restroom. However, it occurred to me that in a few years it would be a problem, and that there were thousands of my fellow citizens that this would pose a problem for.

Grant it, if you have difficulty using public restrooms, you should always go before you leave the house (which we always have our girls do), but there are times when you have to go no matter how far in advance you plan. People who use wheelchairs aren't equipped with fancier bladders than the rest of us, so there are times when you just gotta go.

Plus, as most people know, if you're going to each much of what's on LaRosa's menu, you should probably have a toilet nearby.

All this led me to wonder: aren't wheelchair users a valued customer of LaRosa's?

I called to find out, and the answer was a resounding: NO.

They claim that they are grandfathered into not needing to make the bathrooms wheelchair accessible, and if they're not legally responsible to, then they are not going to do it. That mentality says much about the priorities of the LaRosa Empire. Of course, I know that it's really shaky ground as far as the Americans With Disabilities Act goes -- they're hardly a non-profit organization, and the remodeling necessary to make a wheelchair accessible toilet would hardly tax their company. I also have to wonder what kind of legal trouble they'd get into with the health department as they are not providing adequate toilet facilities to their customers. However, I don't think the legal route is a way to fight their moral ignorance.

I believe that legal ramifications are important but there are two bigger issues here. The first is that LaRosa's doesn't care that they are discriminating against wheelchair users. However, if they put up a sign that said, "Black People May Not Use This Restroom", then all hell would break loose (as well it should). Or if they put up a sign that said, "Only People Who Speak English May Use This Restroom" there'd be protests to no end. In effect, without words, they've done the same thing to wheelchair users. They don't need to put up a sign that says they can't use the bathroom; they simply let their physical barriers do the work for them.

The other issue is the mindset of a company that professes to support our city with goodwill. The ADA passed years ago in the early 1990s, so, in the course of all these years, LaRosa's has seen fit to pour thousands of dollars into high school atheltics, but not to make their restrooms handicapped accessible. This from a company owned by a family that professes a Christian faith. It would seem that they would be more concerned with supporting the most vulnerable (those that Jesus sought after and ministered to) than throwing money away towards sports -- of course, quietly converting bathrooms for usage by wheelchair users won't get you any publicity.

So, our family has officially boycotted LaRosa's and we're asking all Cincinnatians that care a hoot about making our society truly inclusive to do the same. I realize that not every physical barrier can be removed, and I realize that there are SOME organizations that can't produce the money to make their buildings accessible, but truly, the money's there, LaRosa's just doesn't want to bother. They're banking on the fact that people will buy their pizza no matter what. They're believing that Cincinnatians care more about garlic crust, philly steak calzones and supporting outstanding athletes than about living in a city that values each individual.

When we entered LaRosa's, my husband told our little Swimmer Girl, "Maybe someday your photo will be up here with the other high school athletes."

But the truth is that Swimmer Girl has got far too much dignity to ever allow her photo to grace the walls of an establishment that won't let her sister use their toilet.

Arthrogryposis: A Great Opportunity?

Our youngest daughter has a physical disability called arthrogryposis. In lay terms, it means that she has joints that are locked. Arthrogryposis is merely a catch-all term for about 250 conditions that can lock joints. In her case, it is assumed, that there was not enough space or amniotic fluid in the womb for the fetal movement necessary for her joints to develop mobility. The truth is, we'll never know for sure. Arthrgryposis can be so bad that it effects every joint, even the jaw and spine, but in her case it presented in her feet, ankles, knees, hips, wrists, elbows and shoulders.

In some of those joints she has some mobility -- like her hips and her shoulders and one wrist. And some of the joints, like the elbows, she can move a bit by pressing her arm on something and forcing it. She just can't move it on her own. Because, oddly enough, while it is a joint disorder, at it's heart, it's a muscle disorder. Those muscles never developed so they can't move the joints. Then the joints locked into position. As a result, she also has parts of her body that are weak.

The biggest impact this has, of course, is her inability to walk. While we're praying and trying everything we can to help her walk, the odds are she never will. And, even if she does, she'll still be relying on wheelchairs as a main mode of mobility. I struggle with this much more than she at this point. She, for the most part, is a happy kid who thinks arthrgryposis (or art -o-pote as she calls it) is just a part of life.

The worst, for me, is when I start thinking too far ahead. Instead of trusting God in the now, I worry about her future. The other night, I thought about teaching her to drive.

We're going to have to get her an adapted van in order for her to drive. How will we pay for that? How will she her whole life? Maybe we should just move back into the city limits then she'd have better access to the bus system. I thought, as I laid there trying to fall asleep. Ugghh, public transportation is such a mess in this country! It will never work. Maybe I need to try to get a master's degree in city planning and then I can work at getting a decent public transportation system set up.... and so it continues until I fall asleep into a land of nightmares and worries.

Incidentally, she had a nightmare the same night too. Someone stole a lollipop from her and then made her take a nap. Obviously, the bigger picture is still lost on her. I'm really thankful it is. I'm glad she doesn't worry. I would rather she see her inability to walk as just a bump in the road. In fact, I make it a point she never see me worry.

Then I saw an interview with the most amazing teenager I think I've ever seen. Aaron Fotheringham, who has spina bifida, was the first person to ever do a back flip in a wheelchair. A year or so ago, I saw the back flip on You Tube. I was impressed (and also thought I really didn't want my daughter to see it because I really don't want her to want to do a backflip in a wheelchair -- those little rods at the back are there too keep her from doing a back flip!). However, in an interview with ESPN, Aaron talks about this new sport he's invented called "Hard Core Sitting".

During the interview his father talks about a time Aaron, just out of the blue, told him, "Dad, you know I'm really kind of glad that I can't walk."

As we watched this, my youngest son said, "I just don't understand why people think you have to walk. You can do so much without walking. It's not like it's a big deal."

Big words for a person who can walk. However, I know what was in his 10-year-old heart. He sees all that his sister does, and he understands that life is much bigger than any disability. In the scheme of eternity it's just not a big deal. He has a unique perspective that he never would've gotten if we hadn't adopted physically handicapped children. It's one of the blessings of following God.

I know that, too, but then why is it such a big deal to me? Because my little girl has lost something that, in general, we see as something everyone should be entitled too. If she had been born into a creation that hadn't been corrupted by the effects of sin, she most certainly would've been entitled to the right to walk. Life just isn't fair, and that reality is painful.

His dad goes on to talk about how he used to sure that there would be a time Aaron would have to "face his handicap, when he would have to deal with 'I can't walk',' But according to his dad, after all these year of it never holding him back, he doesn't "think he's ever needed to."

And, that reality is freeing! While I can't deny the pain and grief involved in her inability to walk, I can't deny the joy there is in seeing how God can redeem it all. I can't deny the wonder of how amazing God is that he can take a situation so grim, give hope and redeem it into something so incredibly amazing like Aaron Fotheringham. I can't deny the joy when my daughter tells a doctor, "It's okay I can't walk. I'll walk in heaven." I can't deny the beauty of my girls' faith that isn't encumbered by their limitations, but actually flourishes because of them.

The interviewer asked Aaron, "How would you define Spina Bifida?"

His answer was, "A great opportunity."

So, while I can't deny my grief, I won't deny that, truly, he's right. Not just spina bifida, but also Arthrogryposis is a great opportunity. It's an opportunity to see how God will reveal his glory in our daughter's life. It's a great opportunity for us to grow in faith and trust him to provide all that we need and she needs. It's a great opportunity to watch her rise so far above the constraints of her disability and amaze people (just like our oldest daughter). It's a great opportunity to put our faith into practice on a daily basis, and trust in the goodness of God.

Am I Really Missing the Boat?

Yesterday was another "reality check" day. Once again, I was back at the hospital trying to figure out what we are supposed to be doing with our daughter whom all these people think is broken, and we don't think needs fixed.

This time was better than before. We were really not clicking with her last specialist, and at the advice of another doctor, switched to one of her partners. So, I have to say, this was so much better. First of all, I had all my questions answered. Second of all, she helped me develop a plan for how we will manage this case of arthrogryposis, including which limbs we should start with and in what order (right leg, left leg, right arm).

However, there were still things that bothered me. The first was a question asked by the nurse.

"Is she in preschool?"

At first I responded with a "no", but then I realized she goes to a preschool class at our home school co-op once a week (we've been sick for 3 straight weeks, so she's missed a lot lately).

The nurse looked befuddled at my "no."

"Well, actually, she goes to a preschool class once a week."

"Oh great. Then she does get some socialization."

UGGHHHH! Do people have any idea how tired home schoolers get hearing about "socialization." I thought about telling her that, actually, she's quite socialized for a 4 year old. She has 3 "good" friends, likes to make new friends, loves all her family and also wants to be with us rather than strangers. I thought about telling her how there have now been numerous studies done on the socialization of home schoolers (some even done by university education departments trying to prove that home schoolers are socially deficient) that have proven that, on average, home schoolers have better social skills than their public and private school counter parts. I thought about telling her that socialization is part of the reason I home school. I like having confident kids who understand how to make friends with people, don't instantly judge other kids by how they look or act, and also know how to stand up to peer pressure. But, instead, I just smiled.

Then, a resident came in and looked at our file.

"How long are you planning on home schooling?"

Am I wrong to think that this really isn't any of their business? I have worked with many other doctors at this particular hospital and none of them have ever questioned how my children were schooled. I didn't question it though, I just answered her.

"Until we think it's no longer in her best interest."

"So you're making her go with out an I.E.P. ?"

I wanted to say, "No, actually, her entire education is an I.E.P. (Individualized Education Plan), because she's my only preschooler right now. Her also home schooled 5 year old sister just finished up with all her kindergarten work and has started first grade -- obviously disadvantaged by homeschooling." But, again, I just smiled and said, "No, she doesn't have an I.E.P."

All the questions done, the real doctor came in. Everything was fine. Our daughter has multiple issues with all four limbs and this doctor was extremely helpful, but then she said something that really bugged me.

"She's really more limited than you realize. Maybe you're just used to her because you've been with her for the past year."

Is she really more limited than I realize? Is that really true? I mean, I live with the kid. I'm the one that has to drop everything and lift her onto the toilet when she needs to go. I'm the one that helps her put her shirt on and off. I'm the one that lifts her onto furniture when no step stool is available. I'm the one that waits while she climbs the steps, moves a step stool and climbs onto the furniture, and also waits while she wheels herself places.

Can a parent really not realize how physically limited their kid is?

In addition to that, how would things bode for her if I wasn't as positive about what she can do? Where would she be if I was approaching her from a standpoint of how limited she was?

I just really don't get it. She does everything that she is developmentally supposed to be able to do, with the exception of walking, putting herself on the toilet and taking off her shirt. How limited is a person if they can do all that's expected of them?

I realize that there are hurdles down the road. She'll have to learn how to put on her own braces (something that she isn't expected to do right now because of the design of the braces), how to put on a coat or jacket, how to cook, how to do more complicated chores and how to drive. But, am I missing something somehow? She has no problem manipulating small objects with her hands so handwriting and learning an instrument won't be a problem. She's shown an aptitude for letters, so I doubt reading will be a problem. She's great with numbers. Where's the problem? She's capable.

But, then again, I don't have an M.D., so maybe I'm just missing the point.

No Matter What You Do, You Just Can't Be My Daughter

Ever since bringing home our oldest daughter, people have raved to me about the "Everybody Counts" Curriculum used to "teach inclusion" in the public schools. While I've never really had any significant experience with the curriculum (I've read through their website and talked with parents whose children have been taught from it), there are several things that jump out to me as problems. I know. I'm so annoying. It just doesn't stop with me. Ask my husband.

To understand my perspective on this, you have to understand my vision of inclusion. My vision for inclusion is that my children's handicaps are nothing more than a tiny little blip on the radar screen of life. I don't want empathy for my children. Sensitivity, yes. Compassion, maybe if they get hurt or someone wrongs them. Pity? Never. I want healthy relationships and respect. Their disabilities are one facet of their lives, not the focus and certainly not what their life will be organized around. Are they life changing? Yes, of course, but that doesn't mean they need to be life defining.

From what I've read and have been told, the crux of the "Everybody Counts" curriculum is a smattering of simulation exercises. In other words, a child is blind folded and given a cane to simulate what a blind person experiences, or a child has an arm tied behind their back to simulate the experience of living with one arm, or a child is given a wheelchair to use for a specific period of time. The idea is that this will give the child an idea of what it is to live with such a disability.

Therein lies the problem.

If I go for a day using only my left hand, I am not able to accomplish even a fraction of what my oldest daughter does every day. In fact, I often do make myself do things one-handed so that I can advise her on how to accomplish certain tasks. However, it never fails. She finds a better, more efficient way. There is no way that my simulation comes anywhere near what the reality of living with one arm is like! These simulation exercises simply do not present an accurate picture of how a person lives with a disability.

Take, for example, the idea of blind folding a child to simulate living with a visual impairment. Do they really think a blind-folded kid with a cane has developed adaptive behavior necessary to accomplish ordinary life like a person who has been visually impaired since birth? Of course not, the only certain product it would create is the wrong attitude, an attitude of "it's so hard to have a disability!" or an attitude of "you're so amazing! You can dress yourself!"

It reminds me of the time not long after we adopted our first daughter, that a very nice lady I know couldn't stop going on and on about how impressed she was that our daughter could take herself to the bathroom.

"I mean she just hopped right up there and went and then wiped and then flushed and then hopped off and pulled her pants right up."

"That would be the general sequence of things..." I replied.

"Yes, but she did it so well."

"Yes, but she is 4 years old." I responded."4-year-olds use the toliet."

"Yes, but she's disabled."

Could've fooled me, I thought.

I mean maybe it was just me, but I was far more impressed with her incredible language skills (speaking complete English sentences only a couple months after arriving home!), her great imagination, and her cute little face.

I realize that I'm harsh on this, but, again, I take this all from the perspective of how I would want to be spoken of and to if I had a physical disability. I also know what I want my kids to be known for, and the simple tasks of everyday living are not on that list. Simulation exercises are dangerous in that they trick people into thinking that they have an understanding about something, but, in reality, they have gained a misunderstanding.

There are some other subtle attitudes that I don't like as well. These things are minor, like on the website where it says, "how people who are visually impaired cope with everyday life". I don't know how any parent of a visually impaired child would feel about it, or how a visually impaired person would feel, but I do know that my children don't "cope with everyday life", the "live" everyday life. It's a subtle difference, a mincing of words, but I believe it's important.

I understand that things need to be "hands on" with children. When I speak to groups of children about disabilities, I always make a point of having a hands-on exercise. For instance, I'll take a piece of paper and marker and tell three different kids to find three different ways to write their names without using their hands. Then, we don't discuss the difficulty of writing without hands, we talk about how there is more than one way to write. We talk about how they would improve at writing in their unique way over time, just as a child that writes with their hands improves over time. We talk about how having a physical disability means thinking outside the box. You have to think differently when you have unusual limitations placed on you. It's not harder, it's not sad, and it doesn't have to be limiting. It's just different.

I know I'm whining, but I just get really really tired of people admiring my kids for the wrong reasons. Their life is sweet and good. Their lives are full. There's really no room for pity. They just want to be viewed as regular old kids that have to accomplish some things in a different way. And, different can be really really good.

The Socialism of Helen Keller

Several days ago I was shocked into reading a book entitled, "Lies My Teachers Told Me: Everything Your High School History Textbook Got Wrong" by James Loewen. I have to admit, the title did snare me. After all, I am a Home School Mom and I just love it when text books, which are, in my opinion, the archrival to learning, are proven wrong. However, it wasn't just the title that lured me in, it was the first chapter. Right off the bat, Dr. Loewen smacked me with a sentence that just floored me.

"The truth is that Helen Keller was a radical socialist."

What? Helen Keller was a socialist? How incredibly anti-American! How ungodly! How scandalous! How interesting! An image of her sitting in a rocking chair, by a warm cozy fire, reading her braille edition of "The Communist Manifesto" popped into my mind -- an image I'd never thought could even exist, let alone be conjured in my mind. My world had been rocked, and now I was hooked. I had to read the rest of this book.

However, first I had to understand how, and if truly, Helen Keller was a socialist. It was something that wasn't hard to verify, as the woman was not only a member of the communist party in the U. S., but towards the end of her life wrote letters to a friend who was incarcerated for her communist activities. Apparently Keller was outspokenly socialist in her early adult years, but then moved her socialist activities to the back burner for her later years, as being an advocate for the blind was placed in the front. Wow. You learn something new everyday.

Dr. Loewen's reason for including Helen Keller's socialism interested me, because he has a good point. Most people think of Helen Keller as someone who miraculously overcame her incredibly difficult disabilities. Indeed, I have spoken to my children often about Helen Keller, because she is a great role model for not only my girls, but my boys (whose disabilities include an inability to carry multiple items at once, and problem solve such things as "Where did I put my shoes? How can you expect me to find them when I don't know where I put them?").

Yet, as Dr. Loewen points out, what did Helen Keller do after she overcame her disability and graduated from Radcliffe?

Good question. I realized that I had no idea. Here, for all these years, I've been touting Helen Keller to my children, and self, as a great person who overcame her disability and I had no idea what exactly she did once she overcame her disability. Well, according to Loewen, it's because after she overcame her disability, she became a socialist -- something text books don't really like about her, so they just happen to leave out the 60+ years of her life after overcoming her disability.

Why didn't this ever occur to me?

According to Loewen and several other sources I read (including her obituary) , Keller's socialism grew out of her righteous anger over the treatment of the working class in America when she learned that a large portion of the blindness in this nation came from work related accidents due to unsafe working conditions.

I would grant that now, especially after the fall of the Soviet Union, and seeing, first hand, the fruit of communism, we know that socialism is a baseless idea, chalk full of fallacies and doesn't even begin to factor in the effects of sinful human nature on a society. It seems ridiculous that anyone would believe that socialism would work, although there are professing Christians who believe as strongly in capitalism as Keller did socialism, and capitalism isn't exactly God's economy either. But, I digress.

What is interesting, though, is that no one does mention that Keller was a socialist. According to Loewen, and I have to agree, this is because textbooks, and other teaching aids I might add, want to create "heros". Someone over coming their disability is a hero. Someone doing that and then becoming a socialist is not a hero. However, in creating "heros" some of the truth gets left out, and a myth is created or there is some insight lost because of it. I don't like the creating of heros, because I only want there to be one hero in my life: Jesus.

Is Helen Keller any less amazing because of her political views? I would say no. After the shock wore off, Helen Keller became more human to me. She wasn't a genius, she wasn't an infallible saint. She was an amazing woman who lived a full life and didn't get everything right. It helps me to think, "Perhaps I can do some good, even though I don't get everything right..." After all, I don't want any other heros, but I do want people I can look up to, and take encouragement from, even when I know that they were a bit wacky. And, I would rather my children understand the errant nature of man from the start, so they don't get disappointed in the truth when they're older and hit with it.

In my opinion, Helen Keller did what so many Christians over the centuries have done. She put her faith in changing the system rather than in God. While God can use the "system" to bring change, it's our job to follow his calling to obedience in our own actions. Of course, perhaps Keller would say joining the communist party was God's calling in her life. Ohhhh.... that's wild.

So, it turns out that Keller was an active socialist and writer. She lived off the royalties of her story (along with her teacher) until people lost interest in her book. She almost married once, to a nice socialist man, but her mom hit the roof and kicked the man out her life. Then, when the money ran out, she did a very successful circuit on vaudeville. Although many were offended, she and her teacher did a re-enactment of her story. With interesting people, the scandals just don't cease.

Now, the next question to tackle. How did Keller reconcile her Christianity with her socialism? I would imagine that this very question is why Christians have been more-than-happy to overlook Keller's socialism. It's just so messy, (just like the fact that she was a Swedenborgian, and never committed to a local church -- maybe if she had she would've put her socialist efforts towards a better cause?) but, I agree with Dr. Loewen, it's the controversy, the "mess", that makes it all so interesting.

More Thoughts on the Healings

I was thinking, again, about the miraculous healings found in the New Testament. The Lord has certainly changed my perspective on many things over the years, but my perspective on the healings are going through a most radical change. Perhaps other people have always had this all figured out, but I haven't (I've been too busy figuring out how to solve America's problems, I guess...).

Anyway, the healings have always been presented to me as acts of Jesus kindness and compassion. Teachers would point out that Jesus would choose to give his time to the "the crippled, the sick and those 'tormented by evil spirits' ". "Tormented by evil spirits" could mean almost anything depending upon whatever church I happened to be sitting in. To some it meant demon possession, to some it meant being tormented by illness and to yet others it meant mental illness. To me it shows that the concept of grouping all disabled people into one big "group" rather than seeing them as individuals with very unique needs can be seen even in ancient times.

The teaching tends to focus on the fact that Jesus was always willing to give his time to the "least of these", to the outcast, the people who no one valued. The thought being that if Jesus was willing to love even them, then certainly he would love me. Before my days as a mother of special needs children, that explanation was enough for me. Jesus did seek out the broken, there certainly is truth and insight in that interpretation.

However, once I became a Mom, I realized that there are some concerns with that interpretation. It began when I started reading children's literature about disabilities. I noticed a subtle attitude that would often come through the text: we should have compassion on them.

I freely admit that I am a curmudgeon, and that I often read through things looking for unspoken attitudes and cheap imitations of the truth. However, take, for instance, one children's book I read where a child and grandpa go to the zoo for the day. While out, they don't just look at the animals, they also look at a myriad of people with disabilities. "Look a monkey! Hey, Look at deaf girl!"

Albeit that was a wee bit of hyperbole, the feel of the book was simply that. The perspective it was written from was a "us looking at them". Even at the end of the book the kid writes a letter to a disabled kid saying, "I know your just like everybody else." Of course, if that's so true, then why did he have to write and tell her in the first place?

It's all so pedantic.

I started to think, "How would I feel to be the subject of a book like that?" "How would I like it to be labeled 'the person we're supposed to have compassion on.' "

Maybe it's just pride... but maybe something is there. As a child, how would I feel if someone wrote me a letter saying, "Really, I believe you're just like everybody else?" Well, I would be pretty concerned as to why a person would feel the need to say that to me.

So, does this apply to the miracles? I think so, because maybe, just maybe, the only point wasn't that Jesus was just compassionate, but that Jesus understood the value of people with disabilities, and that those who have a disability don't have to be on the margins of society. With Jesus there wasn't a "we" and "them." He didn't need to tell disabled people "you're just like everybody else." He knows it and He knows they know it.


Think, again, to the story of the man by the pool of Bethesda. Jesus asked him if he wanted to be healed. Our presumption is, of course, that he would want to be healed. The most common explanation I've heard for that question is that Jesus is asking him because maybe "he wants to be disabled, he wants to have an excuse for not working." But, perhaps Jesus knew that not every disabled person desires healing.

"Do you want healed?"

There's an option. Jesus understood that abundant life was available to the man whether or not his body was healed. Perhaps one of the points is that either way it's okay. It's okay for a person with a disability to want healing, and it's okay for a person with a disability to not want healing. It's a message of reassurance to disabled people. At the same time, it's a message of perspective for those of us who don't have a disability: don't presume just because someone has a disability that they wish they didn't have it.

Give compassion where compassion is due. Give respect where respect is due.

Through the Roof

Today I am thinking, once again, about disabilities. What brought this to mind is that I'm reading through the Gospel of Matthew, and I just today read through the story of the paralytic that was healed by Jesus. The version rendered in Matthew is rather vague, so I moved onto the version of the story as told in Luke.

The story goes that there was a man who was unable to walk. His friends decide that his best chance for life was to take him to Jesus. Interestingly enough, the Bible doesn't say that the friends were looking for Jesus to heal him. They probably were, especially as the scripture refers to Jesus and says that "the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick." But still, the text never, at least in English, specifies that.

They can't get their friend to Jesus because of all the crowds surrounding, so they climb up to the roof of the house, cut a hole in the roof, and then lower their friend down to Jesus. While I find this part especially neat, I must say that all the numerous, and also near-disastrous, home improvement projects I've been involved with causes me to be somewhat sympathetic to the home owner. Perhaps Jesus fixed the roof for him and the Bible just doesn't mention it (since he just fixed the roof like a carpenter rather than as an omnipotent God).

So, the men lower their friend to Jesus. Jesus sees the paralytic lying there and then does something that no reader of the story would expect. He forgives the guy's sins.

Now, I know what some of you reading this are thinking. You're thinking, "What kind of sins can a paralytic possibly commit? He's just lying there."

Well, from my experiences with my girls I can tell you: he has many options. Our oldest daughter was, essentially, a paralytic when she was in a body cast. She couldn't move from the chest down, and then had only 1 arm to work with up top. It was pretty restrictive. She couldn't even sit up. But, I can tell you now that she was still able to: lie, smart mouth, be prideful, steal (or at least temporarily steal something by hiding it), and dishonor her parents. And that is without any knowledge of what went on in her head! The real problem, then, is not how to sin, but what to do as a parent. I couldn't exactly put her in time out --- she was already in an involuntary 6 week time out while in the cast! But, suffice it to say that sin is definitely possible in any phase of life.

Years ago, when I first read this story (long before any real understanding of disabilities), I used to secretly question how Jesus could just look past what so obviously needed healing on this man. I didn't doubt that Jesus was compassionate, I just doubted His ability to understand what earthly life would be like when you didn't have supreme powers. Now, perhaps, I have a bit more understanding than I did then.


First of all, I think we (especially those who have no experience with disabilities) who don't have a physical disability come at the healings with some serious presuppositions, the largest of which is that, of course, these people would be bringing their friend for his physical healing. And, yet, as I mentioned before, this is never overtly stated in the text. We presume that the most important part of the story is the physical healing, because, we presume that any person with a disability would desire healing more than anything. From the start of the story, in fact, Jesus had a different view of what needed healed.

I also think of this in connection with the time that Jesus healed the man in the pool at Bethesda. Before healing the man, Jesus posed the question, "Do you want to get well?"

I've heard teaching about this passage where the speaker points out that Jesus asks this question possibly because he wanted to see if this man really wanted healed. I think there is probably some legitimacy to that interpretation -- the paralytic probably did have some attitude issues or something of the like. However, perhaps Jesus asked this question because He understood the greater truth that life isn't over just because you have a disability. That understanding came through in the question to the man at the pool, and it comes to light here. Jesus went straight to the real issue, the sin, because He knew what could be redeemed from a life with a disability. The disability didn't have to be removed in order for the man to live as a son of God. His life could still have purpose, and his eternal reward would stay the same.

So, He healed what really needed healed.

Now, some of you reading this probably didn't think about how a paralytic could sin, or that Jesus was missing the point of how the guy needed his legs healed. You were thinking the same thing as the pharisees, which essentially was: Who is this guy that he thinks he can forgive sins?

Now, I've often found this to be one of the neatest part of the story. Jesus answers the Pharisee's thoughts! In Luke 5:22, he says,

"Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, "Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? 23Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'? "

Then Jesus goes on to heal the man, just to show evidence of his authority to forgive sins.

It strikes me that the stories of the healings have much more depth than we realize. I've read that these healings were just some of the miracles he performed, so obviously there must be a reason that these particular ones were recorded. Perhaps it was the nuggets of truth surrounding the healings that Jesus was more concerned about.

Was the man's life radically changed by his healing? Of course. It would be silly to think otherwise. It was a tremendous gift to be healed. However, in the end, the guy faced the same aging process and the same grave that every other person in the history of the world faces. At best a healing of physical nature is a temporary fix.

However, Jesus fixed the real problem.

Karen McCarron

As I write this blog today, my five year old daughter is quietly sitting on the floor sewing pretend dresses onto a wooden bear. Her work is occasionally interrupted by some whispered singing and pretend conversation between the bear and his "little pet lizard" sitting next to her. Her missing fingers and arm bones never even cross her mind, or mine for that matter. It's all peaceful, and I just can't understand how it can be any different. Yet, for many parents it is.

Several days ago a friend forwarded me an email that was disquieting to me in a way that probably no one else noticed. The family was begging for help from anyone who could advise them. Their daughter had been born with the same leg condition as our oldest daughter (although not as severe as what we deal with), and their insurance had denied their claim for a surgical fix. The insurance problem aside, what stood out to me as a problem was the perspective of the parents. For some reason, they were sure that their daughter's life was over if she didn't have this problem "fixed". Her only hope in life was to be made "normal", as though having something physically different or out-of-whack would mean that life had no value. Where did this idea come from? Who told them this lie in such a believable way?

And yet, today, I saw the same idea again. Karen McCarron "fixed" her autistic 3-year-old daughter, Katie, by suffocating her to death in a plastic bag. By taking her life, McCarron stated that she was sending her daughter to heaven in order for her to finally be complete and whole. Obviously she didn't understand that none of us here on earth are complete and whole, but all of us have a purpose here. The defense argued that she was depressed and insane at the time of the murder. I would argue that this former doctor had become so caught up in what could be done to 'remedy' her daughter that she never took the time to find the eternal qualities there that reflected the glory of God. That's enough to depress anybody (although few would take it to the extreme she has).

Then, not much later, I received a letter from a friend of mine overseas. Our family had been praying for a boy in an orphanage there, and she wrote about him in the letter. We had prayed for a family to adopt him, and the story turned out to be that his birth family came for him. What was sad, though, was that he was ever separated from them in the first place.

This little boy was born missing his fingers, and fairly severely near sighted. For some reason, his birth parents thought he was dead. I can only assume that the doctors at his birth predicted such a grim future that they never believed he would live, and they turned him over to the state, believing they were unable to handle his medical issues.

However, as the lawyer for his orphanage began to work on his paperwork to free him for adoption, they made one last contact with his birth family. They were shocked to learn that he was alive and well, and came to see him. Now he is a happy healthy kindergartner whose disabilities are but a little bump in the road.

Then I think about my beautiful daughter who's quietly playing next to me. She was tagged with so many problems: heart problems, hand problems, developmental problems, depression (even though she was an infant!). Now she's a happy, healthy and silly 5 year old girl.

So, I ask myself again, how does this happen? How does a being that was made in the image of God, a being that reflects his eternal goodness , come to be seen as something so bleak? The only answer I can come up with is that too many people have listened to the Father of Lies. Satan can whisper the negative and we believe it so readily, and so quickly.

To quote Helen Keller, "It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision."

I've begun to believe that humanity no longer has a vision.

Dumb Jocks! (A Blog Title Sure to Make My Husband Very Nervous)

I can't say that I don't like to make dumb jock jokes, because, well, I do. But this goes beyond dumb jocks, and since my daughter is definitely athletic material (albeit intelligent athletic material) my number of "dumb jock" jokes has significantly decreased in the past few years. They certainly number less than my blond jokes.

However there is a reason that my husband often watches football with the volume turned down, and that reason isn't just my constant commenting on what the football commentators are saying, although that would be reason enough for most people. It's what they're saying that causes him to keep the volume off.

"Tell me," says the wise, thoughtful sportscaster, "How do you feel about losing today? Especially that play in the last quarter?"

Okay, what, exactly does the sportscaster think he's going to say?

"It felt greeeaaaat to lose!"

"I especially enjoyed the moment when I fumbled the ball and tripped and fell in front of millions of viewers!"

Stupid stupid stupid, yes, it's stupid. One Sunday afternoon could provide me with a weeks worth of blog fodder! But stupidity from the football field isn't even the tip of the dumb jock iceberg. In fact, an international board of athletes is saying the most absurd thing I've ever heard -- even further out there than this:




The International Association of Athletics Federations has barred a double amputee runner from competing in the Olympics in Beijing because his running legs are "technical aids" that give him a "clear advantage."

Oscar Pistorius runs on what are called "Cheetah legs", legs that are specifically designed for racing. However, according to the geniuses of the IAAF, these legs don't just replace his missing lower legs, ankles and feet -- they give him super power! Apparently they have never heard of the concept of a level playing field.

Of course, their defense raises a natural question.

If, as they state, the cheetah legs perform so well, then why is Pistorius the only double amputee who is potentially contending for Olympics? Wouldn't we see droves of amputee athletes routinely defeating their able body counterparts?

Stupid stupid stupid!

The real issue, of course, is that there is a group of athletes that don't want to be beaten by a guy with no legs.

Here's a good dumb jock joke.

"What's more embarrassing than being beaten in a race against a man with no legs?"

"I don't know, Deb, what is more embarrassing than being beaten in a race against a man with no legs?"

"Realizing that you were one of the morons who said he couldn't compete in the first place!"

PEOPLE

When I was in college my roommates and I spoke often of "people". "People" was code for one of you slackers didn't do their work.

"People left dishes in the sink."

"People forgot to clean the bathroom."

"People let their hair clog the drain."

People do alot, but mostly they just present really ridiculous scenarios.

One time, in particular, has stuck with me for nearly three years now. Three years ago, I picked up our local paper and read an article about a family that lived in a nice suburban neighborhood in our city. The family had a 12-year-old son who was an animal lover, especially a goat lover.

Now, this much I get. I'm raising a duck-lover. Kids like unique things (especially if they sell well at the county fair or make a great dinner). But this family took it all even further. They claimed that their son has ADHD and the only thing that helps him control it is his goat. Okay, this is even crazier than "green therapy"!

I'm not even going to go into the question of if this boy really has ADHD or if his crazy family environment has made him a bit hyper and inattentive, although you've probably already guessed where my thoughts go on that topic!

So, apparently, the boy and his goat would go outside and jump on his trampoline together. (see photo!) That would somehow help him to control his ADHD in ways that no other intervention could. The problem was that the neighbors weren't too happy about that goat, or the other one they own, especially when you mixed in dogs and their several other family pets.

The family was unwilling to move or get rid of any pets. The township decided to intervene and the family slapped a lawsuit against the township for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act. No, this isn't a joke! I remember when I first saw the picture of the boy and the goat. I was certain it must be an April Fool's joke or something.

So, of course, this raises a myriad of questions, some of which are:

1) Why can't the boy jump on the trampoline without the goat?
2) Why can't the family get rid of the other pets to at least lessen the odor?
3) Why can't the family move to some place where there's acceptable space to raise livestock?
4) Why can't the boy try other intervention?
5) Do these people really believe what they're saying? A goat?
6) What's he going to do, take his service goat and trampoline to school with him? To work with him as an adult? Keep him nearby at all times? Or, is he just an in-home service goat?
7) If you even believe that he has a disability, what, exactly are the parents teaching him about how to cope with it? That society should cater to him? Oh, he'll get far in life that way!
8) How, exactly, does a goat help a child control his ADHD? Does he devlop a plan to help the boy structure his day? Does he create a reward system for good behavior? Does he bleat whenever the boy starts to get out of control?

This is almost not funny. I have children who are legitimately covered under the ADA, and I find this family downright offensive! It's disgusting abuses like this that endanger the legal protection of the truly handicapped. Who in the world could take this seriously?

Well, I'll tell you who. PEOPLE thought that the family had a legitimate complaint. There were something like 300 comments on that article -- many of them defending the claim of goat therapy! Can you believe this? People read the article and took this entire "goat therapy" seriously. PEOPLE were disgusted with the Township for their discrimination! PEOPLE were disgusted with the neighbors who were tired of smelling the animals.


To quote Tommy Lee Jones from Men in Black, "A person is smart. People are stupid." Amen.