Thursday, May 21, 2009

Presidents, Actors and Super Duper Poopers

All this talk of Chia Pets has really got me thinking.  Actually, it was the Chia Pet Website that really got me thinking.  When you go to the website, there is a man, presumably the president of the Chia Corporation, and he is standing at a podium talking up the grand benefits of the Chia Obama.  Of course I could be wrong, the man could just be an actor.   But, if he's not and he's the president of Chia Land it gave me cause for deep thought.

First of all, did he grow up wanting to be a Chia President?  When he was really young, did he have an innate interest in small herb gardens, animals and historical figures?  More importantly, did his mom dream of him growing up to one day be the president of a great corporation?  Did she say things to him like, "Sonny, I just know that God has big plans for your life.... he'll use you for great things... perhaps even to bring small, green fuzzy animals and presidents' heads into people's homes!".  

Did she see his greatness and try to harness it by making sure he had every advantage?  Did she, like I do for my kids,  fortify his cream of wheat with dry non-fat milk to make sure he got enough calcium and protein in his diet?  Did she insist on a daily multivitamin?  Demand that he memorize all his math facts equally well?  Teach him that television rots your brain? Insist he be active in the arts?  Did she read him stories of the lives of people who changed the world, somehow knowing that greatness could take the form of mass marketing chia pets to the world?

But then I wonder.... was that the Chia President or just another actor?  

If it was just an actor, then there are an entirely different set of questions and thoughts raised in my mind.  First of all, of course, would be :  Just how desperate for work was this guy that he was willing to do an Internet Chia commercial for the Chia Obama?  

This is not the first time I've wondered this about actors.  There are certainly different ways that actors can sink to the bottom of the  pool without being smutty.  I realized this when my oldest, Lawyer/Social Advocate Boy was about 3 years old and we were trying to convince him that it was much better to put his pee and poop in the toilet than it was to continue putting it in his pants.  We weren't having much success, so that's when Rob brought home the "Potty Video".

Before you laugh, though, I'd like to point out that THIS potty video was produced by the Early Childhood Department of Duke University, so it's a potty video for smart people.  It included songs such as, "I use my potty when I have to pee!" and "This is the way we wash our hands!".  It also included one of my personal favorites,  "On top of the Potty"  (sung to On Top of Old Smokey):

On top of the potty 
You're sitting to poop
Oh life is much better
When your diapers don't droop

Such simple wisdom, yet it took so long for Lawyer/Social Advocate Boy to catch on! I would watch the video with him and realize that they had paid actors and actresses playing the roles of the Moms and Dads.  

How would that work?  I realize that it's difficult to get a job as an actor, so anything, whether it's being the Chia President or "Carley's Dad" on the potty video, is an accomplishment.  However, how would you list that on your resume?  

1992                      Duke University   "The Potty Video"    
dialogue and participation in the song "She is a Super Duper Pooper"

Even though it's legitimate work, would you really want to fess up to the fact that you sang a song that was called "Super Duper Pooper"?

So, while most people would find Chia websites boring, I obviously see them as founts of tantalizing, thought-provoking intellectual stimulation. In addition to that, I realize that Swim Girl might be a future Chia president, because she has a great interest in herb gardens, politics, history and animals.  I better keep fortifying her Cream of Wheat!

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